NONSENSE VERSE

The Edgar Allan Poe Gardening Companion

Yesterday I dug a round hole wholly

And that’s the truth, not hyperbole

I planted a tree, yes indeed a muckle plum

Pretty pink shade from the hot prairie sun

I dug a foot deep before my spade hit clay

Compacted stuff that just won’t give way

And what of the body downstairs in the freezer

That murdered and petrified frozen geezer

A dear, dear old friend let me down

And so I slit his throat into a frown

Dave tried to stab me in the back

Me, I chose a much more lethal tack

Dismemberment seems the way to go

I can bury his parts hither and fro

I’ll dig six small shallow graves

For those butchered pieces of Dave’s

A pit for his head and one for his torso

Four more holes for his other limbs also

And what of the cats, Mungo and Scamp

Will they litter box the soil I tamp

A note to self re. Home Depot

Buy more grass seed and Miracle-Gro

Perhaps I’ll mulch his corpse in the copse

Surrounded by my Zen garden rocks

Or Dave can bloat in the water feature

Chewed upon by a nocturnal creature

Dave, Dave, welcome to Eden

Perhaps I’ll plant you ‘neath the sedum