EDMONTON EXISTENTIAL

Summer

This morning’s Globe and Mail featured an interesting bar graph. Because my height, weight and general good health are offset by 25-a-day, statistics indicate I should expect to see another 20 summers. So, there’s still some runway before the brake pedal gets stomped on. Summer is two months to be frittered away without adding to the accumulated regrets of a misspent life.

Oven off; barbecue on. The porch and patio are open to visitors.

Summer must be here because a team other than the Montreal Canadiens has just won the Stanley Cup. Politicians have dismissed themselves from legislative halls; school’s out. And not a moment too soon: Last week the Banshee of Invermectin, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith, noted quite helpfully that D-Day marked the beginning of the Second World War; school’s been blown to pieces.

I’m looking forward to sitting in the ballpark with half my attention on the game and half my attention on a conversation of no great import: Yes, I have no plans, something in September, maybe? Speaking of attention, or lack thereof, there are a couple of heavy duty books on my night table, books about big important stuff but they’re underneath The Lost Continent by Edgar Rice Burroughs; pure pulp for now people.

Jaws must shoulder the blame for the now tired and wretched summer blockbuster movie phenomenon. If the planet was a Hollywood backlot, there can’t possibly be anything left on Earth to blow up real good anymore. My summer thoughts turn to songs. Catchy ones like “Magic” by the Cars. I want “Wild in the Streets” over “Black Day in July,” open hydrants for the street kids rather than riots for adults. Every Top 40 Sly Stone hit there ever was. It’s okay (for a limited time only) to just skim the Stones and the Beatles by listening exclusively to their singles. Springsteen’s first three albums before he recast himself as Raymond Carver. This is what long summer evenings demand and require.

Forget “Hotel California.” I’m going to play Joe Walsh. I want to smile. The Beach Boys are seasonally redundant, the obvious cliché. I like them but I don’t venerate them. They always struck me as too white bread and more than a bit sucky when compared with many of their contemporaries; I mean, Fenton Hardy’s boys are good detectives, but Frank and Joe aren’t exactly noir. And “noir” might apply to Shadow Kingdom, Dylan’s just released soundtrack to the lockdown film he “live” streamed in 2021 (Don’t know how I missed it). The disc has a palpable after hours, Sydney Greenstreet-Blue Parrot, band-in-the-corner ambiance throughout; perfect music for when Edmonton’s nighttime low stalls at Africa hot, and proof that His Bobness can still carry a tune – provided he feels like it.

This summer, number 64 and counting because, alas, they’re not endless in any sense of the word, has arrived with a delightful musical twist. Last week the Muster Point Project debuted their animated lyric video for their latest single “I Got This” on YouTube. This song has more hooks than a fly fisherman’s bucket hat. I wrote the lyrics. It will become the soundtrack of summer 2023 – in my dreams. I don’t want to be Carole King, just one massive hit would suffice. Watch, listen and read along here: Turn it up! The gentle visual gag at the end is worth waiting for. Honest. “I Got This” is also available for download through Amazon Music, Spotify, Tidal and other streaming services I’m unfamiliar with. Anyway, I hope it will enhance your holiday in a modest way – in whatever form that may be.

meGeoff has been your most unreliable, unbalanced and inaccurate alternative source of light reading since 2013. The novella Of Course You Did is my latest book. Visit www.megeoff.com for links to purchase it in your preferred format from assorted retailers.