THE MUSTER POINT PROJECT

“Handsome”

I love Chuck Berry’s music; the Rolling Stones were my introduction. His songs were vernacular poetry, wordplay calculated for mass contemporary appeal yet destined to remain relatable decades later. They always told a story and they always had a lyrical hook: There was a cool young whippersnapper/Who used to love to run and play/But the draft board got him/They inducted him today/It wasn’t me/Must have been somebody else/It wasn’t me. 

A Berry song that has always stuck with me is “Brown-Eyed Handsome Man” because of its baseball verse: Two-three the count with nobody on/He hit a high fly into the stands/Rounding third and headed for home was a brown-eyed handsome man. I don’t care how many pitches a great hitter fouls off, you can’t have a two-three count in modern baseball. In 1886 a full count would’ve been four-three, but I digress. Then again, Berry’s brown-eyed handsome man did leave his mark throughout all of human history; Venus de Milo lost both her arms wrestling another woman to catch and win him and by the close of the song, he, originally written as a brown-skinned handsome man, is cleared of any and all charges by a smitten court. He is free. Needless to say, there’s a whole heck of a lot going on in this catchy allegory.

The Globe and Mail two weeks ago ran a story by its music critic examining the state of contemporary pop. The compositional consequences of streaming in an era of TikTok attention spans are brevity and lack of traditional structure. Taking it to the bridge is best left to the likes of James Brown. I flagged the story for my friend Kevin who writes and records as the Muster Point Project (his latest single is “I Don’t Mind”). We met 30 years ago in the Canada Safeway advertising department (Kevin designed the cover of my first novel, Murder Incorporated). About an hour later I sent him some nonsense verse called “Stream This!” I was thinking anything by the Ramones or “Rip This Joint” by the Rolling Stones, short and fast. He ran with the joke. Another hour later he replied with a demo. He wondered too if I had anything else. Seriously?

I try to read a book about baseball every spring. There’s a quickie one about the Montreal Expos on my night table now. Some old habits are so hard to break. The outdoor chore cap I keep by the back door has switched sports (the Canadiens were done before Grey Cup Day anyway). Berry’s legendary slugger crossed my mind. Stories need twists, words can be twisted and catchphrases can be turned around. If I say, “Leave it to me” and you say, “Leave it to Geoff,” chances are we're talking two very different things.

I sent Kevin an untitled set of lyrics. He wrote music for them and named our song “Handsome.” I never told him, but that peculiar synchronicity blew my mind. Kevin decided the chorus needed brass. Because, you know, Kevin thinks big, always has, and, anyway, it never hurts to get a quote, he got in touch with the London-based Kick Horns who’ve recorded parts for the Stones and Eric Clapton. They liked our song, they got the gag, and they really got Kevin’s dummy horn arrangement. You can listen to the evolving demo here on SoundCloud.

The Muster Point area on SoundCloud features a few of our other recent collaborations, including “Stream This!,” “I Love That Song,” and “Grub Street.” Don’t forget your Muster Point merchandise either! Kevin’s debut album is available as an 8-track tape (I believe a shared offbeat sense of humour cemented our friendship). Certified and genuine Muster Point Project music, including “I Don’t Mind,” can be streamed on Apple Music and Spotify. 

 meGeoff has been your most unreliable, unbalanced and inaccurate alternative source of chartbusting hits since 2013. The novella Of Course You Did is my latest book. Visit www.megeoff.com for links to purchase it in your preferred format from various retailers.