SAINTS PRESERVE US

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight

Sometimes things just work out this way. In this particular provincial instance, it might be for the best.

The Edmonton Oilers visit the Calgary Flames tonight for their opening match in the second round of the National Hockey League (NHL) playoffs. Both teams got through the preliminary round, gutting it out for the full seven games. The provincial rivals have not faced each other when it really matters since 1991. All of Alberta will be watching.

Meanwhile, the governing United Conservative Party (UCP) will announce the result of its leadership review. That process should have been done and dusted during a weekend convention in Red Deer before Easter but a surge in paid party memberships created unwieldy logistical problems. The ballots will be counted today under the scrutiny of Deloitte, an auditing firm with offices in Edmonton and Calgary. Premier Jason Kenney formed the UCP in 2017 by luring the right, the righter, the rightest and the righteous into his Ford F-150 clown pickup. Seating’s been cramped – even with the extended cab. Another guy who also believes in the sanctity of traditional Christian families and the tar sands wants to take the wheel. All of Alberta is waiting to fasten seatbelts.

Even casual readers of the sports pages must now be fatigued by “Battle of Alberta” repetitions and it hasn’t even started yet. Remarkably, the NHL hasn’t registered the phrase as a trade mark and sold a sponsorship: Scotiabank Battle of Alberta with superscript circle Rs and TMs. Because the Flames and the Oilers are the last Canadian teams left in the tournament and one of them must lose, it’s a sure bet one or more hockey scribes will lament the diminishing odds of “Lord Stanley’s mug returning to its rightful place in Canada.”

The UCP is fragmenting ahead of tonight’s vote result. The Buffalo Party has been formed to advocate for Alberta’s rightful place in Canada – or outside of it, whatever; they don’t know. The tenor of politics here is petulant teenager: angry, alienated and inarticulate. And that’s just within the UCP’s existing rank and file, miraculously and temporarily swollen by the stakes of power, incoherent ideology as lash-out complaint. It’s a safe bet that Premier Kenney will keep his job, maybe just. He’s a plump, huggable teddy bear with a shiv.

Hockey is a meaningless distraction, as is all sport, but it’s not without engagement. The Flames and Oilers will change Alberta’s casual conversation for the next ten days or so. This change is welcome. Really, really welcome. One team will advance, progress. There will be more hockey talk. For a time, the spittle-laden invective of UCP infighting and debate over the party’s archaic platform of sepia-toned regression will be flooded out by the power plays most Albertans truly care about.

meGeoff has been your most unreliable, unbalanced and inaccurate alternative source of all things Alberta since 2013. My novella Of Course You Did is my latest book. Visit www.megeoff.com to find your preferred format and retailer.