HUMAN WRECKAGE

Hey Joe, Everybody Hurts Sometimes

meGeoff has no idea if songwriters and musicians Lee Michaels and Joe Jackson have ever crossed paths, let alone became friends. But if they did and if they lived in the same neighbourhood and if they got together once a month or so for a pint in their local at their preferred table by the window, it’s very possible we might have overheard a conversation much like the one imagined below.

Lee Michaels: Hey, uh, been forty days since I don’t know when –

Joe Jackson: Look over there!

LM: Where?

JJ: There! Here comes Jeanie with her new boyfriend.

LM: Is she really going out with him?

JJ: Her and Bobby are steppin’ out. They don’t know I found out. They’re married now or engaged or something, so I’m told.

LM: I just saw her yesterday, had nothing to say. Do you know what I mean?

JJ: They say that looks don’t count for much and so there goes your proof.

LM: She’s a dandy, yes indeed, and I just saw her with your best friend, if you know what I mean.

JJ: Is she really going to take him home tonight?

LM: I asked her if she still cared. She didn’t hear me, she just stared. Do you know what I mean?

JJ: I washed my hair. I kid myself that I look real smooth. If looks could kill…

LM: You haven’t loved her in nearly four years. You didn’t notice that she held back her tears. Now you have, but it’s really too late. Better find yourself another girl, another girl.

JJ: I’ve had my fill. I get so mean around this scene.

LM: Better find, uh, another place. Lord, do you know what I mean? (To server): Can we get our tab, please?

Find legal versions of ‘Do You Know What I Mean’ by Lee Michaels and ‘Is She Really Going Out with Him’ by Joe Jackson on YouTube or other services.