SAINTS PRESERVE US

But What Will the Search Engine Think?

The Disney Corporation this week announced an ‘epic world event,’ their words. Epic world events are rare in our galaxy. Disney’s hyperbolic take on an ‘epic world event’ is a few YouTube uploads unveiling a new line of toys launching with the December release of Star Wars Episode XLIX – or was that last season’s Super Bowl – anyway, not exactly an Apollo moon mission.

My intent with this meGeoff entry was to get the vitriol up and a good sneer on at such lame audacity. I thought maybe I should watch one of those unboxing videos to get a better handle on what Disney intends to foist upon harried parents and creepy nerds this Christmas. And then I thought that might be a bad idea because the desktop’s search engine will then know and remember that I actively sought information on Star Wars toys. And this would be humiliating, like being seen and photographed exiting an adult store with a parcel - if you know what I’m talking about.

The search engine is already intimate with my habitual online habits. A Star Wars search might stop it in its tracks. I can hear the algorithms snidely clicking over and computing: ‘Star Wars toys, hmm? I knew you were middle-aged, but I’d no idea you were such a sad sack loser. Be that as it may, I’m here to help. May I suggest some naked pictures of Carrie Fisher?’