SAINTS PRESERVE US
Apple!? My i!
Apple Inc. yesterday announced the arrival
of two new products whose names do not include a lower case i. Reverberations
from the Cupertino, CA
media event were felt as far away as Edmonton,
AB. Are Apple Pay and Apple Watches
the death knell, the final fatal tolling of the bell for meGeoff? Industry
analysts concur: it’s too early to tell, although one insider revealed that
iTeeth were gnashed.
Apple Pay is particularly sky breaking. It
works exactly like the cash, debit card and credit card you already carry in
your wallet except that it’s digital. This means that all of your important
financial information may be safely and securely stored on Apple’s iCloud.
Proposed product names including uPay and
iPay did not pass the first marketing brainstorm meeting. However the bite out
of Apple Inc.’s logo was thought to be indicative when combined with the word
pay – ironic given the corporation’s world class tax avoidance schemes.
The Apple Watch will tell you what time it
is while getting to know your body although the biblical sense is still a few
years away. Perhaps it will flag a heart attack if you keep ignoring the
constriction in your chest and the agonizing pains shooting down your left arm.
It will come in many fashionable colours and the wristbands will be
interchangeable.
Neither Apple Pay nor the Apple Watch will
work without the iPhone 6. This new device is slimmer than previous
incarnations and will boast a slightly larger screen. Me? I prefer my Perez
Hilton gossip and grumpy cat videos in Cinemascope, or at least on an iPad.
The other big news Tuesday from Cupertino was Irish rock
band U2 launching their new album on iTunes. ‘Songs of Innocence’ is a gift to
the world from Apple, a no charge download. Ireland of course is a notable
off-shore tax haven and a particular favourite of Apple Inc.’s.
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