Wednesday, 9 January 2019


Goop and Saccharine

Suzanne Somers wrote the answer
Three’s Company cures all cancer

Anthony Robbins grew a goatee
And short’ed his name to Tony

Deepak Chopra and Lululemon
Talking aphoristic New Age heaven

Live, laugh, love and floss
Lap up all that sugary dross

Gweneth Paltrow sells real Goop
Using colonics to make her soup

Repurposed the rocks in her head
Shoved them elsewhere up instead

Bring me the head of your ESA
Not tomorrow, I mean today

Well good God, Morrie, it’s all too much
Mitch Albom, Ellen, an Oprah crutch

Am I the poster boy epitome
Of really callous insensitivity?

I know, I know, life is hard
Thank Christ you got a loyalty card

You are different, you are special
Not just your average human vessel

Recall that Earth is big, older than you
And you, my friend, are nothing new

You might step outside yourself
And leave the charlatans on the shelf

Copies of my latest novel The Garage Sailor are still available and ready to ship. Get aboard at

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