SAINTS PRESERVE US

Mixed Emotions in Alberta

The Iran war is now in its second raging week. Taking my cue from Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, I’m just trying to make some sense of it all. I’m unsure, ambivalent and kind of uncertain all at once.

I don’t believe a fascist and hardline sectarian theocracy that addresses human rights within its borders with torture and guns, wages regional warfare by proxy and who tacitly supports Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and ensuing years of quagmire is a particularly noble national endeavour. I wonder about the end result or even if there will be such a thing. The odious and incompetent regime in Venezuela simply grew another head following the recent American decapitation operation. Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan: plus ca change. I worry too that FIFA, that gleefully corrupt organization behind football’s World Cup, is contemplating rescinding its inaugural “peace prize,” that shabby, ass-licking token it bestowed on der Trumpenfuhrer because the US Congress, the United Nations Security Council and The Hague (where the remanding of alleged war criminals is frequently stymied by lawyers, diplomatic immunity and finessed extradition treaties) may conclude an illegal war isn’t simply laissez-faire.

But, man, typing at my writing table in the Crooked 9 here in the United Conservative Kingdom of Alberta, I know one thing for sure: War in the Middle East is a barrel of oil’s golden goose. Alberta is Canada’s petro-province. An alarming number of residents imagine it as a state of some sort. The fiscal fortunes of generations of provincial governments have been in lock-step with the cyclonic boom-and-bust cycles of the energy industry. Good times are credited to local know-how and Alberta’s can-do spirit. Bad times are blamed on geopolitics and the remote, elitist eastern mandarins (bastards all) in Ottawa, uncontrollable factors. Consequently, a consistent narrative in a one-horse town can get tricky.

The official political discourse the week prior to the Iranian adventure was interesting. Premier Danielle Smith, the Banshee of Invermectin, addressed the province days before her government’s budget was to be tabled in the legislature. Her oratory, always glib, signalled hard times ahead. Serious ground softening, a rhetorical barrage. Tar sands royalties ain’t what they used to be. Assigning blame, she rounded up the usual suspect. Former prime minister Justin Trudeau was allocated his usual place up against the wall. Ineffectual as he was, he of course (and every other Canadian taxpayer) got Alberta’s precious Trans Mountain pipeline extension done. Yarded on it, just gave 'er, bud. But, never mind. Shockingly, Smith’s updated and expanded hit list included recent immigrants to her formerly fair province. It’s important to remember that two successive United Conservative Party administrations paid for “Alberta Calling,” a nationwide ad campaign designed to attract newcomers. Smith is on record as saying she’d like to see Alberta’s population double. Fuck me if she didn’t remember the province’s teetering health care and K-12 education systems. Apparently, they’re strained now.

And then the bomb, assembled by sweaty, unsteady hands, dropped. The ultimate deflection of reality. Potentially explosive. Next October, the Government of Alberta will embark on a direct democracy exercise. Pandering to the lowest common denominator. A referendum consisting of nine questions concerned with curtailing the rights and privileges of newcomers, and that squishy can of often-impotent worms, the morass of documents that comprise Canada’s Constitution. Albertans will have something else to contemplate other than the sheer incompetence of their UCP government. And by the grace of every fiery evangelical preacher who ever lived, the party’s lunatic fringe gets a sanctified bone.   

Smith’s subsequent austerity budget predicted a deficit of some $9.4 billion. This contravened the UCP’s own legislation banning three consecutive annual provincial deficits. Funny thing about laws, if you make ‘em you can break ‘em. Financial analysts were concerned that the UCP numbers were predicated on a blue-sky oil price, one that didn’t jibe with the US Department of Energy’s assessment or those of industry analysts. And fair enough, estimates informed as they may be, are predictions.

Monday morning you sure look fine. The Middle East erupted last weekend. Sometimes circumstances collude and collide and geopolitics shake down on the right’s side: the UCP’s Monday morning caucus meeting must have been jubilant, some kind of stilted bacchanal. Oil is like miraculous ocean surf in this landlocked place, way up. As for the inevitable inflationary spiral that will cause, gasoline, jet fuel, logistics, what have you, Smith will blame the usual suspects, both new and used.

Here at home, I see a provincial government crippled by its own inflexible ideology and thus barely competent. The UCP means well for the most part, all things considered, I think. Broadening my view, I discern a similar pattern the world over although motive and intent for many are definitely suspect. Anyway, a good week for some. And so it goes. More to come.

Dispatches from the Crooked 9 has been your most unreliable, unbalanced and inaccurate alternative source of everything since 2013. Sunset Oasis Confidential is still out there languishing in multiple formats. Visit my companion site www.megeoff.com for links to your preferred retailer. Of Course You Did is still in print. Collect the set!